Venice Beach Diary 1/30/2022

“Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible”

― Claude T. Bissell

I was recently confronted with vision boards I made about 15 years ago, moments after I began my first return from what at the time was rock bottom (Turns out rock bottom has a basement). I had cut and pasted a cover image of a book I have never read by former Mr. Olympia Frank Zane. It was titled “Mind Body Spirit”. A persistent symptom of my struggle was neglect and abuse of these 3 things.

I began writing a training manual tentatively titled The Metacognition Method (shameless plug stay tuned for a link to the book ASAP) a few years back. Pre-Covid. My attempt to distill and share the knowledge and experience acquired over my lifetime. The one story we should all tell is the one that answers, “how did you do it?”. What have we accomplished or survived? What experiences changed us? What did we learn? How did we grow? I grew my muscles. A lot of people ask me how I did it, so attempt to capture it I shall.

I divided the book into 3 sections mysteriously titled “Mind Body and Spirit”. My insights into physical training for the “Body”. The learning tools I acquired over a lifetime of my ADHD in conflict with a reading and learning hyper fixation will constitute the “Mind” section. Spirit is still in development.

I did use these titles actively thinking of the book I used on my vision board all those years ago.

How many of my clever ideas have simply been memories I don’t remember remembering? OMG I’m a fraud!!

I’m just going to treat it as inspiration.

So anyways…

in 1932 the Cockcroft–Walton (CW) experiments of 1932 he is referring too were when the scientists Cockroft and Walton created a device credited with “performing the first artificial nuclear disintegration in history”.

Nuclear disintegration is apparently shooting photons out of a gun and taking measurements when the particles crash into each other. The smart people measured and calculated the masses and energies involved and got a shout out from Einstein for proving him right. Pretty dope.

A precursor to the particle collider in Switzerland. This is what the gun looks like.

Right?? I was expecting Marvin the Martian’s gun too!!

Back to the beach:

I assume this kid is beating the shit out of a grown up right now.

It was a beautiful day today. I know there is struggle in the world. The moment I step outside I am reminded of how lucky I am. I have known despair and hopelessness. I have watched the Earth fall out from underneath others while holding fast under me. I would hate becoming the type of human who could make peace with that. I have made the journey back from my own personal rock bottom. I know the path is a dark and windy road with no map. Mountains of effort will be made that will seem to do nothing and setbacks will be had. The requirements for recovery are not dispersed fairly or proportionately.

People are too quick to shame quitting. To mock or punish the idea of giving up. Fuck off with all that. The world can stomp of every piece of hope in sight and do it with artistic cruelty. If you cannot empathize with someone breaking, please understand and be grateful of how much pain you were spared in this life. Personally, I find it easier to understand how so many people are breaking, than how any of us are not.

2 thoughts on “Venice Beach Diary 1/30/2022

  1. dchilders13coxnet January 31, 2022 / 2:45 pm

    Today’s blog is so good! No, actually it is great in my book! Your writings are so genuine and thought provoking. I will anxiously await your book!!

  2. sfedis January 31, 2022 / 3:04 pm

    Your entire blog was so good! But it is this line for me personally, “I find it easier to understand how so many people are breaking, than how any of us are not.” Society does not offer real support for those who attempt to recover, in fact much the opposite. We need to do better. Thank you for your words, they have power.

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